Ambiguous Loss

Ambiguous loss is a loss that occurs without closure or understanding. This kind of loss leaves a person searching for answers, thus complicating and delaying the process of grieving, which can result in unresolved grief.  With ambiguous loss, there is no opportunity for resolution.  It can be difficult for someone to recognize that this may be the reason they are grieving.  

For example, think of a family who has developed a connection to a helping professional.  The helping professional has resigned and accepted a new position within in new organization.  The helping professional is unable to say goodbye before they leave. The family arrives for their next appointment and there is a new helping professional in the position. 

This tough situation happens too often in the service field.  We sometimes expect families to quickly move on and form an attachment with the new helping professional even though this is not a realistic expectation.  There are also several ways to prevent this situation from happening if we spend a little extra effort to problem solve. First, the helping professional could make sure they have time to schedule appointments with the families they serve before leaving the organization.   Another option would be to talk to each person on the phone before the transition or write a letter to each family and send it in the mail. 

Ambiguous loss leaves families, loved ones and communities without the opportunity to resolve grief.  These unresolved feelings may communicate to families that:

• Life is unpredictable and out of their control,
• Important things can be lost,
• Hard to trust that things will work out and
• Relationships will likely not endure.

It is important to examine ambiguous loss if it is suspected or if we know someone is having trouble with engagement and connection.