The Physician’s Response Copy
Video Transcript
Dr. Young
I can understand why you are upset. Unfortunately, even under the best of timing and circumstances, in less than half of all cases can we detect Down syndrome with an ultrasound. And with the screening test you had during your pregnancy, it cannot tell us for sure if a child does or does not have Down syndrome.
Mrs. Brown
(tearing up) What kind of life will our son have – Will he walk and talk like our other children? What about school, and when he is older and an adult? With this news, we do not know what to expect. I can’t believe this is happening now.”
Dr. Young
I know this is very difficult for you. But first, we need to remember that Craig is a child much more like any other child than he is different. If he has Down syndrome, that will have an impact on his life and yours, but he will also have many strengths that you will see as he grows. Children with Down syndrome walk and talk and learn to care for themselves, though they usually do that at a little different pace than other children. Predicting the future of a child with Down syndrome is as impossible as predicting the future of any child – only time will tell.
Mrs. Brown
I can’t imagine what I am going to say to others. I don’t know how our relatives will react, especially my in-laws. You know Craig is our first son and the first male grandson on either side of our family, I don’t know if they will be very accepting (turning to her husband). Even my parents may have had a hard time with this. They will be visiting today.
Mr. Brown
Dr. Young, how should we tell them?
Dr. Young
Remember that we do not know definitively that Craig has Down syndrome, so you may not want to tell them anything right now until we have the results of the test. But that is up to you and how comfortable you feel sharing this information.
?Decision Point: How would you respond?
If the parents asked you how to share the diagnosis with relatives, how would you respond?
A) Let them know that he is just as much your child as are your two daughters, that you love him for who he is, and that each child is different. I can already see a lot of both of you in him. In time, they will come to see his unique abilities – he will win them over.
Good choice; you have emphasized both the child’s similarities and uniqueness.
B) Let them know that you love him just as you love your other children, and that you will do everything you can for your child, despite his intellectual disability. After all, a child is a child, and this child belongs to you.
Not a good choice; this statement, seems to imply that the child is somehow “less” of an individual because of an intellectual disability.
C) Let them know that while things will, of course, be different with this third child, he is still your child, and if they cannot love him for who he is, perhaps it would be better for them not to see you and your family until they can accept this.
Not a good choice; the extended family is an integral part of the parents’ support network and this remark could jeopardize that relationship.