You are about to deliver news that will change the lives of this family forever.  It is very important that both parents be there so that they can:

• hear the same thing,
• ask you questions together, and
• emotionally support each other. 

Parents themselves have repeatedly expressed how important it is for them to hear this news together.  It may be that you will not have to do anything “special” to set up a meeting with both parents’ present.  You may find them together in the room during your regular rounds, and that the setting affords you the necessary privacy.  In our previous scenario, the physician discretely inquired as to when both parents would be there but did so in a way that would not arouse anxiety in Mrs. Brown about potential problems. 

However, it may be that the only way to ensure that both parents will be present is to actually inform the mother that you need to talk with both of them because you have noticed something about the baby that is important to discuss together.  This approach will naturally create anxiety for the mother.  An important part of speaking to both parents is creating a private setting without creating undue anxiety before you can fully express your concerns for the child.  There may times, however, when you will have to explicitly set up this meeting.  In that case, it is best to tell the mom that you need to speak to both parents together about a concern you have for the baby, that the baby is not in any danger, but it is something that you all need to discuss together.